Moms teaching teens (is it possible)?
Yes our tweens and teens at times (like every 60 seconds) feel they know it all, right?
Today, we’re going to talk about two great life lessons Moms and Dads can teach teens that will add value for the rest of their life.
First we’re going to talk about steering our children down the right path when their besties are going a different way.
Second, we’ll review a life skill that actually isn’t ever taught, but can add so much value to our children and ourselves. And it will even help cut back on those time sucking activities our kids engage in all day, like video games or watching YouTube.
Moms Teaching Teens How Separate from Old Friends
Has one of your kids ever had a childhood best friend who, over time, started to go down a different path?
Perhaps they were the kid at the playground who was caught drinking or vaping. Or the teen who was getting a little too caught up in the partying lifestyle… or just hanging out with a new crowd of kids who were bad influences.
Naturally, you don’t want your child to follow that path as well. But to forbid your teen from seeing that childhood bestie isn’t the solution. (Let’s be real, that may just lead to sneaking around and possibly drive your teen down that same path.)
Instead, you want to start by helping your child have clear intentions about what they want for their life. (This isn’t necessarily the same as what they want to be, but is more, ‘what do you want to do or accomplish.’)
For example, if your child wants to get into law school someday, then he or she needs to make decisions that are in alignment with that goal.
It may mean making new friends who have similar goals and setting healthy boundaries with friends so you aren’t associated with the behavior that isn’t in alignment with your goals.
In the podcast episode, above, Mike mentions that for his daughter, Katie, cheerleading is a huge part of her life. So when she’s hanging out with friends at the park and they start vaping or engaging in other similar behavior, she makes an excuse to remove herself from that situation.
Because taking care of herself, physically, is key to her performance in cheerleading.
Moms Teaching Teens Scheduling
The second part of this is taking that intention, that ultimate goal your child wants to accomplish, and setting smaller goals.
What do you need to do to get you to that ultimate goal?
Next, break that next action into steps and put them in a calendar. (This is something most of us need to work on, truthfully.)
But, as Christina Ellis points out, if there’s something worth doing, it’s worth scheduling into your calendar.
But the great part is, as your kids will see, once you’ve scheduled out that time, you’ll see all of the EXTRA time that remains for doing whatever you want (like laying in bed half the day on Sunday or spending hours playing video games). And you can do that while still knowing that you’re working in the direction of your ultimate goal, your intention.
It’s a myth that living by your calendar creates inflexibility in your life. The reality is you’ll have MORE time and be MORE flexible.
Conclusion: Teaching Teens Life Lessons
It all comes back to drawing out of your child what they really want for their lives.
We already have it in us to know what we want (even if we don’t necessarily know what we want to do for a career). We just need someone to pull it out of us.
And once you have that clear intention for your life, it’s just a matter of backing into that when you make decisions, whether you’re deciding how to spend your time or who to spend that time with.
Suddenly, mom and dad, your child is in the driver’s seat and taking ownership for his or her life, making decisions that will lead to that decision (or acknowledging the bad decisions that moved him or her away from that goal).