How to Avoid Using 9 Hurtful Words with your Child

Moms, Dads, do you use any of these 9 hurtful words in front of your child?

These words might not seem hurtful in a sentence, but the reality is that these words are actually negative and can create negative energy, or even negative self-talk.

Life coach and four-time fire walker Debbie Pace shares with us why.

9 Hurtful Words Every Parent Should Avoid

Always

The word always seems harmless, right?

However, the reality is that it solidifies something as an absolute.

For example, you could say in frustration, “You always forget to take out the trash.”

Or perhaps you might say, “You’re always on your phone” or “you’re always playing video games.”

With the word always, you’re saying something, possibly about your child or teenager, as if it’s a fact.

But by doing this, we’re not giving them any opportunity to do or feel things differently.

Can’t

Is this word even allowed in you home? For many parents, it isn’t.

And yet, there’s a strong chance you’re using it way more than your kids do, without even realizing it.

For example, you might tell them, “We can’t go to the movies this weekend” or “We can’t buy that today.”

While this may, again, seem harmless, what we’re doing it showing our kids that they can’t do things because we can’t.

Challenging

We want our kids to face challenges head on, right? So how can it be negative.

Well, the truth is that this word implies a constant and continuous struggle. Which tells our kids there’s more of a challenge to come and can actually reduce the likelihood that they’ll try new things.

Hate

Yikes! It goes without saying that this is definitely a strong and negative word.

When we use the word “hate,” we’re putting negative energy into whatever we’re referring to.

Have to

The words “have to” implies that we don’t have a choice in something, that we “have to.” Using this word actually makes you appear powerless because you aren’t owning the power you have to make decisions.

Need to

This is kind of the same as “have to.”

By telling our kids this, you’re implying that other things are priorities that have to come first.

For example, “I’d love to attend your class event, but I need to work” or “I’d love to play, but I need to fold laundry.”

The words “need to” takes away your own ownership.

Never

This implies there is zero possibility that something could ever happen, which likely isn’t the case.

Should

When you use the world should, it says you wish you could but are powerless. Not really a lesson we want to teach our kids, even unintentionally.

Try

We’ve ALL been guilty of this one. It rolls off the tongue without us even realizing it.

However, when we use the word try, we give ourselves an out. It implies a lack of ownership and says you don’t fully believe something is going to happen or that you’re capable.

And if you don’t believe something can happen, there’s no way your kids will.

So using this word is essentially the same as telling them something isn’t going to happen.

Conclusion: The 9 Unintentional Hurtful Words List Recap

Remember, we’re our kids best role model. So using these words with them can unintentionally send them the wrong messages. The words we use can imply a lack of ownership over our lives or show that we don’t believe in ourselves or in our kids. We could be, unintentionally, creating blocks that they’ll have to work through years from now.

The words we need to be careful avoid using are:

• Always
• Can’t
• Challenging
• Hate
• Have to
• Need to
• Never
• Should
• Try

Write out this list and put it on your fridge. It’s amazing how easy these words can slip out and a visual reminder is key to avoid using them.